When I hiked the Pacific Crest Trail in 2015, I learned first-hand the importance of signs and maps. I relied on these references to guide me toward my goal and to stay informed on whether or not I was on the right track.

Unfortunately, when the hike ended, so too did the maps. Such is the case trying to navigate our everyday lives. There are no definitive signposts to guide us, and too often this leads us to feel lost and alone.

So how do we know if we’re going in the right direction? How do we know whether to keep forging ahead?

The answers lie inside ourselves.

Here are some likely signposts to watch for, to know that you’re heading in the right direction on life’s path:

You start wishing yourself well.

When I first started reflecting deeply on myself, I saw just how imperfect a person I was. I noticed clearly my faults, ignorances, blind spots, limiting beliefs and the depth and darkness to my shadow-side. Everything felt insurmountable and I wanted to change everything to make it better.

What I didn’t realize was that instead of changing my faults, I first needed to accept them. I began making friends with my shadow-side and integrating it into my Being. These parts of myself were trying to tell me something, and they became my greatest opportunities, not something that needed be to fixed or cast away, but something I needed to dig into and reflect on why I was that way in the first place. Where did I learn to behave that way?

I started developing an even greater sense of self-compassion and self-love. It’s a long journey and I won’t get it perfect, but during every step of the process I wish myself well.

You share what you once kept hidden.

I keep lots of secrets and stories to myself, but I once felt especially insecure and vulnerable about a few stories. For example, it was once difficult for me to admit that at various points in my life, I have been disillusioned and unhappy. But I started to face that reality and work with it, I began to understand it more and they became part of a new story. It was only after lots of time spent processing that I began to share this. And the more I share my story with others, the more that is revealed to me and the more easily I let go of stories that don’t serve me. This creates space where there were once blockages and bottlenecks. Creativity and inspiration flows from the newly formed pathways.

That being said, it doesn’t make sense for me to share my stories with everyone. Not everyone has earned the right to hear my stories. I share only where it makes sense. There is such a thing as oversharing as well as contextual awareness. Nevertheless, I am beginning to share what I once kept hidden and I know it’s a step in the right direction.

You say “no” to things the ‘old you’ would have said “yes” to.

Quitting alcohol completely transformed my life forever. My decision to remain sober finally allowed me to face my problems instead of numbing myself and running away from them. I now see how the clearest changes in my life stem from the things I’ve stopped doing. It’s when I let go of patterns that are no longer serving me, and the experiences that are now out of my alignment, that I can begin to chart a new course.

It’s difficult at first, and you might experience setbacks, but you begin to say “no.” You have other plans in mind.

You let go of your old story.

One of the most painful human experiences I’ve faced is shedding old narratives. Ever since I’ve started this blog, I’ve kept an about me page. This is where I tell my story, my “truth.” The problem is that whenever I revisit this “truth” every few months, I realize how outdated it is. Who I am is constantly changing and that page needs to be updated from scratch. So many times I’ve had to completely delete everything and start over again. It sucks realizing that everything I’ve worked toward is no longer in alignment with the person I’m trying to be, but once I start to write a new story, I find my life become just a bit brighter and more meaningful.

I also have a tendency to think I know the answers to things. There’s been times in my life where I feel like I have everything “figured out”. Then, the longer I try to hold onto those truths, the harder my life becomes. This is because yesterday’s truths are today’s prisons. I frequently fall into identity crises and realize that the more I learn, the less I know. I have to pick up the pieces of my life and move forward with what I’ve got, with what’s serving me at that moment.

Allow your narrative to keep changing with who you are. Let go of your old story.

You become afraid of yourself.

When you see your potential, you realize your greatest fears must be confronted. Until then, the fear won’t leave you and even then the fear may stay. But it won’t matter. You’ll be braver.

You feel yourself becoming bigger. The boundaries holding you back are now recognized as entirely internal. That’s okay because keeping yourself to yourself is selfish. Others need to hear your truth and you need to hear what others think of it.

You move away from the victim-villain mentality. You stop blaming others, culture or the environment. Instead, you empower yourself. You ask: how can I do better?

You face your feelings instead of resisting them.

When difficult feelings and sensations arise in the body, you face them head-on rather than avoiding them or grasping at previous habit patterns like indulging in drinking, drugs, promiscuity and sugars. Instead of seeking an altered or desired state of mind, you find equanimity with whichever state arises knowing this too will change.

You reduce the duration and intensity of your self-imposed suffering.

Anger, fear, resentment, jealousy and hatred still arise but instead of taking away days of your life, they take hours. Hours then turn to minutes. In this way, you’re taking back your life.

Pain will still come, but you stop “layering” additional suffering onto your experience.

You take responsibility for your happiness, purpose and life.

You recognize that pain is different than suffering, that suffering is entirely your responsibility, self-imposed, can be worked on and reduced. You start to work on this.

You give yourself the permission and support you’ve always needed to aim where you’d like. You aim low at first to develop momentum and competence. You then aim higher. Maybe even as high as you can possibly think of. You do this knowing you won’t live up to your expectations, but that aiming high is better than dying with regret, or far worse, having to live with it.

You wish others well, too.

Once you’re in a good spot, you move outward. You place attention on others and serve those around you. You wish them well. A good place to start is with your family and friends.

You won’t be perfect, but that’s not your goal. Your goal is to be you. You’re already enough. Wish yourself well. Then act it out. Like you mean it.

Today, I wish you well. May we follow our signs and build a better future internally. May it spread outward, far and wide.