I started writing a fiction novel. It’s still unclear what it’s about, but so far, it has a beginning and something of a middle. I’m not sure how it ends, so I’ll find out when I get there.
After writing two books about my life, I think I’ll stop there for now. I’ve found that storytelling about my experience is starting to feel restrictive. There’s not much there for me to explore anymore, at least nothing that excites me. I’ve written about most of that stuff already in blog posts and books. And ever since returning home, I don’t have that same desire I once did to keep repeating that pattern, that urge to uproot and redefine my entire existence. It’s been nearly four years now, so I don’t think it’s coming back.
Right now, I just want to live simply and commit to a few important practices. I feel at home now. My family is here. I’ve found a great community of friends in the movement and artistic spaces alongside a special someone… so why would I leave? If it ain’t broke…
I’m succumbing to comfort and unconscious habituation in certain domains of life (food, meditation), but I’m also making subtle progress in many others (movement, writing, contentment, audience building). For the most part, I get to do what I want to do. And that’s about all I can ask for. I’ll keep refining, but nothing will ever be perfect. I’m lucky and blessed.
We’ll see if those blessings follow me into fiction writing. I haven’t written a novel before, but I believe I can. Whether or not I can do it well is a different story. By well, I mean creating an interesting story from pure imagination. I’m not writing to impress people with fancy turns of phrase. I just want to write for pleasure and fun and to challenge myself and dig deep into my unconscious to see what’s there. If the story entertains me, I’ll bet there’s someone out there who finds it entertaining, too.
I haven’t yet dove in fully, but I will. My family is in town for the holidays and I want to enjoy spending time with them. When the new year hits, I’ll get going. My goal is to write 1K words per day and create an 80k-word novel.
Since I’m writing without a story structure, the rewriting process will likely take many months if not years, but I’m used to that now. I’ll need to retroactively incorporate those missing pieces to bring order to chaos. Or said another way, bringing consciousness to unconsciousness. As you know, that’s a long and difficult process, but also very rewarding. I look forward to sharing it with you one day.
Until then, I’ll keep exploring a variety of writings via email. I originally considered writing a non-fiction book about meditation/perspective, etc, and I may still do that one day, but for now, I’ll share those ideas with you, here. I want to use these emails as a way to connect to you outside of the confines of social media. Whatever comes up: blog posts, inspiring thoughts, stories.. I’ll share it here.
Merry Christmas and happy holidays.
Much Love,
David