After three years of writing, I recently released my second book, True Nature.
The art isn’t finished—I could have kept working on it for years.
But there comes a time when something grabs ahold of us and says,
You’ve held onto this for way too long.
It’s time to let it go. Please, for your own sanity.

I told myself I wouldn’t write another book about my life.
But my trip to Nepal allowed me to explore two mind-consuming subjects:
enlightenment and love.
What do they mean? How do they fit together?

There’s a practice in Buddhism called detachment.
By detaching from thought, sensation, and from experience itself,
you can find happiness.
But how does that fit into the stories told to me
of true love, soulmates, and life purpose?
That question, among others, is what I sought to learn more about through writing.

The irony is that, while I was writing about enlightenment, I stopped meditating.
Tragic, I know.
It’s a good thing that failure leads to insight.
Sometimes, stepping away helps us gain perspective.

So, after many failures,
and one more book out in the world,
here’s what I learned.

Love and Enlightenment

I sought enlightenment.
I wanted a soulmate.
I believed these things would make me happy.
I wasn’t already whole,
and I needed something to fulfill me.

My desires brought me suffering,
Dragged me across the world
into the home of a wise woman in Nepal,
and through the Himalayas with a Tibetan lama.

Desire can bring suffering,
but I’m grateful for desire.
Our desires are some of our greatest teachers.
They show us the parts of ourselves that want to be seen.
And by following them,
We find not what we want,
but what we need.
We’re led elsewhere and shown something entirely different.

So, instead of finding enlightenment,
I discovered the importance of releasing expectations,
cultivating gratitude,
creating meaning,
the present moment,
and going with the flow.

I wanted to stop suffering,
but suffering is a tool.
And the biggest cause of suffering is trying to get out of suffering.

I wanted a soulmate.
I thought maybe that would make me happy.
But if we can’t find contentment now,
in this moment,
without adding anything on top of it,
it will continue to allude our grasp,
staying constantly just out of reach.

I think most people can relate.
Maybe your version of enlightenment is
a certain amount of money,
a high level of skill,
retirement,
or maybe a house in the woods.
Once I get that thing,
then I will be happy.

We think we’re caterpillars.
We see others
Who dance like butterflies.
But this is simply a projection
We see only their butterfly-ness.
And we want wings, too.
To get there, we try to grab and attain.
We approach our self-love and enlightenment as commodities:
how much does it cost?
how do I speed things up?
who has the best advice?

But after a while,
that approach no longer works.
It’s an endless treadmill,
which leaves us
exhausted, broken, and empty.

After so much suffering,
Instead of looking for something in particular,
we change our perspective.

In one moment, we see how there’s nothing to find
because it’s already here.
We see what’s already here,
unfolding in front of us.

We don’t give up our desires,
We just abandon expectations.
We don’t give up our effort,
We instead surrender to the flow.

We understand how we can love deeply
and still understand impermanence.
We can be passionate about the material world
and know that none of it will lead to anything permanent.
Letting go doesn’t mean we don’t care.
It just means we understand that things happen for reasons,
And some things are beyond our control.

Your search is never a waste.
Everything is connected
And nothing gets left behind.
What remains is your story,
And you serve from your wound.

That’s my wish for you,
to find that place,
that felt sense,
where you’ve already arrived
and yet your process still unfolds.

That you accept yourself
as you are in this moment,
and yet continue stepping forward.

That you ride the waves
of feelings and phenomena
because herein lies what we seek.

And that you tap into your own true nature,
your potential.

I want everyone to find enlightenment.
A definition that changes throughout our lifetime,
unfolding and shifting moment-to-moment.

For a long time, I’ve cultivated an intellectual understanding
of love, enlightenment, and soulmates
It’s helped bring more parts of my mind on board to my practice.
It’s also helped delay the hard work,
a coping mechanism,
because the practice itself is where the transformative experience lies.

By writing this book, I’m reminded of how everything connects
in special and interesting ways
beyond comprehension.

I emerge with a deeper sense of trust
in what’s unfolding,
in nature.
Nothing to be attained,
Everything to be gained.

May you allow for happiness
to reach you
in this moment.

What’s True Nature (the book) about?

True Nature is the story of my time spent in Nepal
searching for something I’d lost
and something I’d never experienced before.

You won’t find what you’re looking for,
But you may be reminded of something else.

While it’s based on a true story (~95% truth),
there’s ~5% of fiction sprinkled in as well.
When you read it,
I think you’ll know which part I’m referring to.

I did so to explore my own imagination,
to express myself fully,
and to place my figurative self
at the edge of death.

There’s something in it to be found for everyone
Whatever you find,
I hope you enjoy your experience.

You can purchase the book by messaging me on social media or email.
You can also buy it directly on my website.
It’s also available on Amazon.

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to follow my blog for more.

Much Love,
David